runaway. get away | honeylaala's Blog

I need to vent
its been a while since ive been able to write my feelings down.
or type them anyways.
I wen through a phase.. where i thought it was useless to "get out" what i was feeling.
ive been reading.. i kind of feel like a "writer" maybe its something i should look into.
im all about love and fiction... and happy endings and love stories and two people
unexpectedly falling for each other. falling deeply for each other. and yearning for each other.
hoping one day its me..
anyways. i just really want someone here by my side. its getting really hard. my mom. my family.
that love and affection a person can offer you? i want THAT.
Change of subject.
Kevin and i are on good terms. im finnaly way past him and his bullshit.
lol its actually funny to me now. He is stupid as hell and ah. im so glad im the person that gets to call
the shots now.
Adrian cam down. He wasnt anything like i expected. Ive actually stopped talking to him all together.
and i dont mind at all. 
Change of subject.
The world is on my shoulders............................ Things havent gone my way and i dont want to go into specifics
but i got a job. lost it. for all the wrong reasons. and now i regret it. Driving school is on monday.
i cant wait till its over. and hopefully find a new job. BETTER job. and show everyone i CAN.
i CAN help my mom. IM NOT half as stupid as i showed them with leaving my job.
I just need time to reedeem myself and get myself together. because i feel like im falling apart. Slowly
and its bad. dreadfull. ive been loosing hope and confused about my future and what i want to do
with my life. its been this big bubble of "i dont care" "ill do it later" tomorow will be better" " i need to
forget" "push this as far back in my memory as possible" OVER life and its bearly starting.
Looking for a boo.
Change of subject.
Patricio... He doesnt even deserve a sentence in this. BUT unfortuantly hes very present in my every day
life... School life.... i never thought i would get his number. Never the less actually text him. NOT 
because i feel "not good enough for him" but idk. were from two different world. LITERRALLY. 
i need to get away. i need time. beach. peacfullness. not this hectic life. the craziest part is
writing about how i live and feel like ive been here a while but im only 17. im nearly starting TO LIVE.
and i feel drained already. so sad. pathetic actually. music. writting. idk what my escape is anymore.
i feel like singing is not my thing anymore. it cant possibly take me anywhere? how MANY people
are out there.. trying to make a singing career. what would me different? i have to be realistic.
Writting and reading have been a good escape for me recently. but im not a very good wtitter. my ideas
are every where and i cant focus really..... i need a breather.

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Previous Posts
Yearnin, posted May 4th, 2013
runaway. get away, posted February 9th, 2013
My Day, posted July 8th, 2012
Pain in my stomach, posted July 6th, 2012
New Morning, posted July 6th, 2012
I got your message.., posted July 6th, 2012
I Cant Anymore, posted July 6th, 2012

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